By Kate Peregrina
One thing that makes the U.S. great: no two states are the same. That diversity leads to distinct strengths and weaknesses, but how can you know what makes North Dakota different from South Dakota, besides a made-up line separating them?Well, in the interest of showing that every state sucks in some way, we picked out one key area where each is most deficient. This is what every state is the worst at.
Credit: Thrillist/Jennifer Bui
Alabama is one of the few states in the Union that has raised its smoking age to 19, but apparently this measure is improving health about as much as fast food restaurants listing how many calories are in a bacon double cheeseburger. Smokers gonna smoke.
Alaska: Highest chlamydia rate
All that oil money apparently leads to some bad decisions. But really, in the state with the lowest population density that’s also got the coldest average temperature, you can also just blame it on lonely Alaskans looking for another warm body.
Arizona: Worst at going to the dentist
Nearly 60% of people in Arizona say they don’t get regular dental exams. Which, if you’re retired and have dentures, probably makes sense. But still — gross.
Arkansas: Fewest advanced degrees per capita
Only 6.1% of people in Arkansas have an advanced degree or higher. You know your state is doing something wrong when West Virginia is calling “SCOREBOARD” about its academic prowess compared to yours.
California: Most polluted cities
Everybody already knows the air in Los Angeles feels like it was imported from a Mad Max movie. But, not surprisingly, the air also sucks in Bakersfield, Modesto, Sacramento, and Fresno. As if you needed another reason not to visit Fresno.
Colorado: Greatest cocaine use
The next time you’re in Colorado, and somebody at a party is talking about fresh-cut powder, don’t assume the discussion is about skiing conditions.
Connecticut: Most unequal incomes
Connecticut has a lot going for it, with the highest rate of school enrollment in the country and the highest per capita income. But the top 1% in Connecticut earn 41 times what everyone else earns. The rich get richer, and everybody just keeps trying to figure out what New Haven pizza is.
Delaware: Least regular exercise
According to a Gallup poll, less than half of people from Delaware report exercising regularly — for 30 minutes a day, three times a week. According to Google Maps, it only takes about an hour to drive from the north end of Delaware to the south end, and surely very few Delawareans know how long it takes on foot.
Florida: Most recreational boat accidents
Florida has the highest number of boat accidents and fatalities. Yet studies consistently show that Floridians operate boats at least as well as highly caffeinated orangutans.
Georgia: Least integrity
Politicians in Georgia are the least ethical in the country, with an estimated 658 state workers having accepted gratuities during a two-year period. State legislators were not available for comment without an offer of basketball tickets or honey baked hams.
Hawaii: Highest homelessness rate
The good news is that homelessness has been decreasing in the United States in recent years. The bad news is that Hawaii still has about five times more homeless people than Mississippi, Indiana, and Kansas. At least they get to sleep on a beach?