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The  Plan For World Peace

The  Plan

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan... what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to 

stand up and repeat this message.  Robin Williams' plan..(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. 

    You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those 'good ole boys.

    ' We will never "interfere" again.

2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Phillipines.

     They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.

3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. 

    After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or 

    where they are. France would welcome them.

4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one 

    from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. 

    Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" 

    and it's back home baby.

6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing 

     non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. 

     The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go 

    some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling 

    up the storage sites would be enough.)

8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah

    or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen 

    or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends 

    here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any

      longer. Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.

     "The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.

      " She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

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OK you whining, panty-waisted, pathetic Maggots,
it's time for a little refresher course on exactly
why we Americans occasionally have to fight wars.

See if you can tear yourself away from your #%@^$!
and Starbucks for a minute, pull your head out of your flabby ass and LISTEN UP!!



THIS is not "torture" nor is it an "atrocity."
This is the kind of thing frat boys, sorority girls,
and academy cadets do to newcomers.

A little fun at someone else's expense.

Certainly no reason to wring your hands or get
your panties in a wad. Got that Kennedy?

THIS IS an atrocity!


So Was This!!!



Islam a peaceful religion???

Millions of these sons-of-bitches are plotting as we speak to destroy our country
and our way of life any way they can. Some of them are here among us now.

They don't want to convert you and don't want to rule you.  They want your butt prints removed from the sands of time.

You are a vile infestation of something called Allah's paradise.
They don't give a shit how "progressive" you are, how peace-loving you are,
or how much you sympathize with their cause.
They want you dead, and think it is God's grand will for them to do it quicker than crap through a goose.  You still think Bush and Ashcroft are your worst enemies?

John Kerry thinks if he gives them a hug or leads a couple of rounds of "Kumbaya," they'll all of a sudden start liking the US of A.  And you agree with that?

Get a grip, dumb ass.

If they manage to get their hands on a nuke, chemical agents, or even some garden variety anthrax you will wish to God and not those snot-nosed bubble heads on television we had hunted them down and killed every goddam one of them when we had the chance.

So stop bitching about your health care the Constitution doesn't guarantee you anyway, your Social Security, the price of gas and your measly 6% unemployment rate and spend a little time fretting about your family and your friends.

How many more Americans must be beheaded before you stop blaming
Bush for all your troubles and grab your own balls for a change.

You've fallen asleep AGAIN Maggots!

And you may not get another chance!


NOW GET OFF YOUR SORRY ASS and do something a little more productive than reading what Maureen Dowd or Molly Ivins think.  You should have learned by now they don't.  Pass this on instead of their safely-out-of-range bitching and moaning.














Like what you see more of MYLOCATION.NET  CLICK HERE Section 3




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A thought for your day






Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve

headache pain almost immediately -- without the

unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."


Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?


Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with

mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints.

They'll clear up your stuffed nose.


Achy muscles from about of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in a cup of olive oil.

Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.


Sore Throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon

 six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.


Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two

tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms.

Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost

instantly -- even though the product has never been advertised for this use.


Eliminate puffiness under your eyes..... All you need is a dab of

preparation H, carefully rubbed into the skin, avoiding the eyes. The

hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor, relieving the swelling instantly.

 Might give you a crappy outlook too?


Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and

place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin, sterile,

and speeds healing. Works overnight.


Listerine therapy for toenail fungus... Get rid of

unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash.

The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.


Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of

Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.


Coca-Cola cure for rust... Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with

Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.


Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get

in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409.

Insects drop to the ground instantly.


Smart splinter remover... just pour a drop of Elmers Glue all over the splinter, let dry, and peel

the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.


Hunt's tomato paste boil cure... cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress.

The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.


Balm for broken blisters... To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine...

 a powerful antiseptic.


Heinz vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1

hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.


Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a

few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly.

Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.


Rainy day cure for dog odour... Next time your dog comes in from the rain,

simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly

making your dog smell springtime fresh.


Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear.

 Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes

the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.


Vaseline cure for hair balls..... To prevent troublesome hair balls, apply a dollop of

Vaseline petroleum jelly to your cat's nose. The cat will lick off the jelly, lubricating any

hair in its stomach so it can pass easily through the digestive system.


Quaker Oats for fast pain relief.... It's not just for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of

Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute,

cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.



Like what you see more of MYLOCATION.NET  CLICK HERE Section 3



Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following multiple

test. The events are actual cuts from past history. They actually


Do you remember?

-1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by

a. Superman

b. Jay Lenno

c. Harry Potter

d. Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred

a. Olga Corbett

b. Sitting Bull

c. Arnold Schwarzenegger

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:

a. Lost Norwegians

b. Elvis

c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3.During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

a. John Dillinger

b. The King of Sweden

c. The Boy Scouts

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

a. A pizza delivery boy

b. Pee Wee Herman

c. Geraldo Rivera

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old

American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair

a. The Smurfs

b. Davy Jones

c. The Little Mermaid

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6.In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver


rescue passengers was murdered by:

a. Captain Kidd

b. Charles Lindberg

c. Mother Teresa

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7.In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

a. Scooby Doo

b. The Tooth Fairy

c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

a. Richard Simmons

b. Grandma Moses

c. Michael Jordan

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9.In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

a. Mr. Rogers

b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill' s women

c. The World Wrestling Federation

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10..On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles


out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into


Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the


people were killed by:

a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd

b. The Supreme Court of Florida

c. Mr. Bean

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11.In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

a. Enron

b. The Lutheran Church

c. The NFL

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

a. Bonnie and Clyde

b. Captain Kangaroo

c. Billy Graham

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, .....I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do

So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics

on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to

profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old

women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret

who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old

with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning and former Governor Joe

but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone because of


Let's send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds

other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to

thwart common sense, feel doubly ashamed of themselves - if they have

such sense.

As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so aptly put it,

"Stupid is as stupid does."

Come on people wake up!!!

Keep this going. Pass it on to everyone in your address book.

Our Country and our troops need our support!



Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of
your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat
chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way.. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In
fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets. And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"








Like what you see more of MYLOCATION.NET  CLICK HERE Section 3



Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

If you aren't ashamed to do this, please pass this on.
Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me," I will be ashamed
of you before my Father."
Not ashamed. Passing this on



Now this is something to look forward too..


An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."



Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house
together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath.

She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the
other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come
up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up
the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.

She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." _______________________________________


Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other,
"Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."



A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."



80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."



Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time.. but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"



As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"



Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.

So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"














































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